You may want to end your personal or professional relationship with me after reading this   8 comments

For a few days I have been reading the opinions of many who I thought I knew well – and who I thought both professionally and personally had similar values to myself.

However, I now know I was wrong, as some have shown by their assumptions and their personal comments about the values of others, the intelligence of others, the opinion of others, the right of others to have a different view to themselves that they do not have similar values to myself.

Yes, I am talking about all the things I am reading and hearing after the EU referendum.

I am shocked, saddened and to be honest very worried that people in this country (and some people I considered friends and colleagues) could show such complete disrespect for fellow human beings. Disappointed is not a strong enough word for the fact that many of those who are making these comments and sharing comments made by others, work within the early years sector where we are supposed to promote diversity, respect others views, work in partnership, find way to resolve differences and so much more.

I am not talking about those who express their own disappointment, or express their concerns about the future following the democratic vote – that is their right to do so and is indeed needed if we are to move forward after such a close vote. Whichever way the vote had gone there were going to be a lot of disappointed people, and it could have easily gone the other way – 4% difference is very close.

We were all given the opportunity to vote – and to vote freely in accordance with our own opinion and reasons. As it should be and in fact this right to vote was fought for by many in the past as a basic right of being a human being (even though this is still not a right everyone in this world enjoys)

However, in our country we do have this right and 72% of us exercised our right.

But now some are demanding a second change, to try change the vote so that they have the outcome they want – instead of accepting that the decision has been made and so now we all need to work together.

Some are saying that this right to vote should  be overruled and government should make the decision because those who voted ‘leave’ were not informed or too stupid to be allowed to vote on such matters.

There are so many assumptions being made about those who voted to ‘leave’ that simply cannot be applied to everyone in a ‘one size fits all’ approach.

Everyone who voted had their own reasons for doing so – and no one should state their opinion and therefore their vote is any more valid than the next persons.

And this includes those who represent us in government, the media, within families, colleagues, neighbours and friends, because to be honest there are those on both sides, those who wanted to remain and those who wanted to leave that have shown their true colours in the way they are expressing their opinion of others.

It is possible to disagree with others without stooping to such personal based assumptions. Explaining your concerns or even your fears is fine provided you do not personally attack or blame others – who after all just did the same as you did and voted in the way they wanted to and they thought was best.

In my opinion neither side of the debate was honest, neither side was totally factual, with both sides  making things appear worse or better as suited their position on things. Personally I did not fully believe anything any of them said – and did my own research ( including listening to the views of friends and colleagues who supported both sides of the debate) before making up my own mind and voting how I thought best.

I am really hoping that friends, family and colleagues will keep in mind what they know about my values and principles before they judge me, before they tar me with a standard brush based on assumptions because I voted LEAVE ……..

…… not because I am ill informed, not because I am stupid, not because I am racist, not because I do not consider myself a European ( the geographical boundaries of Europe are nothing to do with the EU), not because I am against immigration, not because I do not want to trade with /communicate with/ visit other European countries

I voted leave because I personally think the EU is not working, it is too big, too complicated, costs too much to keep going, and that it is too difficult to get so many countries too agree on things which costs time and money and often ends up being a negotiated compromise, which ends up with winners and losers. I think it would be better for each country to represent themselves to get the best deal they can, and to make their own laws. I am not silly and I realise that this will not be a quick or easy process and will lead to uncertainty while changes are implemented – but I also know that there will opportunities created  and new ways of working together (as happens in the rest of the world) I can think of many EU decisions that have worked well for the UK, but I can also think of many that have not,

Trade agreements can still be reached, security agreements can still be reached – friendships retained, human rights retained, through each country representing themselves in the talks. Surely all countries are able to do this, and why would other countries now refuse to work in partnership with us – it is not to their advantage.

In general, I have very little influence on our government because I am but  one voice; I have the opportunity to have a little more influence if I join with others with the same view – but again unless there are millions all agreeing, my voice is often not heard. I can live with that – it is a democratic process. However within the EU my voice has no chance of being heard as there are so many different views, so many conflicting agendas – and my voice will be represented by someone who may or may not share my opinion and who will have to try to get so many others to agree or to compromise – in my opinion it is all too watered down in terms of democratic processes.


In my opinion much of the fear, uncertainty,  and panic has been caused by bankers trying to do what they always do which is make money for themselves regardless of the cost to others; by the media spreading doom and gloom; and by politicians not doing what they were elected to do which was to represent the majority views of the people of this country.

I consider all those who are resigning ,as not fulfilling their commitment, and supporting the country through this period of change. I am in a similar position myself in that I made a commitment to others when I took  on a position of leadership, and then a vote was taken for changes that I do not personally agree with. However, instead of jumping ship and leaving others to deal with these changes, I have remained their leader and I am guiding them through the changes until the end of my term of office and therefore my commitment.

And if interested – NO, I do not want Boris or any of the others in the limelight – to be possible Prime Ministers. I expected Cameron to stay as Prime Minister and fulfil his commitment  until a general election.

So as stated in the heading of this blog  some may want to end their personal or professional relationship with me because of the way I voted. I will be very sad if this is the case, as I thought professionally and personally that the people I connect with hold the same values as me and can agree to disagree without making sweeping statements based on assumptions.

Those of you who decide to remain in contact with me, please let me reassure you – I don’t mind how you voted,  as I know you will have had your own very good reasons for how you voted – and I respect your opinion.

We need to respect each other  – our similarities and our differences – including how we vote.

Those who lead others, those who work with children should always have the above in mind, all the time. Please do express your concerns and fears, but please do not make personal comments based on assumptions about those who voted differently to you.

The result of the referendum can have two different impacts on this country – it can divide us or it can unite us. I hope that it unites us. Certainly, if the outcome had been to remain in the EU,  I would be working together with others to achieve the best outcome for our country, and not blaming others for having a different opinion to me. Yes, I would have expressed my concerns but I would have done so professionally.


8 responses to “You may want to end your personal or professional relationship with me after reading this

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  1. Penny as always you are the voice of honesty and reason-I too voted leave -and have faced a barage of abuse which has shocked me. I have been apologising for my decision-which wasn’t taken lightly. I feel totally de-valued as a human being, however reading your blog has made me realise that I shouldn’t have to apologise for my beliefs,especially to those who should know better and are behaving exactly in the way they are accusing us leavers of being. Thank you for putting into words exactly what I was thinkingxxx

  2. Well said. We need to get up and keep working. It has got too big and has little over site.

  3. Well said Penny!

  4. Very well said Penny. As someone who is usually on the losing side (I vote Green Party in general elections), I am appalled at the way the remain side have reacted in defeat. Of course the decision is monumental, but I am looking forward to the change and as always I will approach the future with optimism and a good heart. I do not judge others by the colour of their skin, the money in their pocket, the choice of the people they love, the God they choose to worship, or the way they chose to vote in this referendum. Love and respect to all xXx

  5. Well said. We need to be positive, I hate all the doom and gloom time o look forward.

  6. Well said Penny. The voice of reason as always. I also voted leave but I voted not to join all those years ago. Why are all these politicians jumping ship just because they didn’t the result they wanted very childish I’d say. You are my friend always x

    Evelyn weightman
  7. Well said Penny and a great read! I will always be a follower of your blog. Please carry on sharing your thoughts. We are all entitled to vote whichever way we believed was best for us in the UK /Great Britain.

  8. Well said Penny. It’s almost as if voting ‘Leave’ has become a dirty word, synonymous with being far right, or racist when this is not the case. You have integrity, a quality that I fear many (of our politicians) do not posses – both sides.

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